adventure...

i LOVE that this sweet girl makes me feel like a kid again. At least once a day we head out to the front yard for an exciting adventure. We manage to find golf balls, kitty cats, disgusting lizards that make me want to vomit, grass, airplanes...the list goes on and on. I just love to just sit and watch. Observe this intrigued little darling get so ecstatic over the simplest of things. She helps me to pause, breathe in the fresh...well fresh for California standards...air and get back to basics. Just what I need to help me remember to be grateful for the simple things in life....especially baby fedoras:)

thank you...

I was overwhelmed by the love and encouragement I received from my previous post. Thank you all so very much for your kind comments, emails, texts and phone calls. It means the world to know of all of the love and support I have. I am one lucky girl, that's for sure! So thank you all so much.

one year...

This year has by far been THE HARDEST year of my life. Hands down. Today has been a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. I think about my mom multiple times a day, so I thought, although today marks a year since my mom passed away, I would be ok. I would be strong. I have to be. People depend on me to be. I've gotten real good at putting on a brave face.
I woke up this morning with my mom on my mind, as I lay in bed with my eyes closed, I felt tears streaming down my face, I didn't even realize I was crying. Oh great, I cannot start my day this way.
I am not the type of person to wallow in self pity...what's the point? I'm my biggest critic. I'm not getting any sympathy out of myself. --But there are days when I find myself jealous. Jealous of those girls that call their moms daily. Call to get advice, ask about a recipe, to vent, just to catch up. I miss that. I could spend hours talking to my mom. She was THE BEST listener. She always had words of encouragement. She knew the perfect thing to say. She laughed so hard at any story I told. She made me feel like I could do anything.

I have a terrific mother in law and other great women in my life that I know would do anything for me. For that I am grateful. But there's just something about a mom, that you just can't find anywhere else.

This is my absolute favorite picture of my mom. She stayed with me for a week when I had Harlow. She LOVED our little babe right from the beginning...I am confident to say she loved her as much as I do. Which is virtually impossible. My mom was in between chemo treatments when Harlow was born, she was so sick, had no energy and started loosing her hair. She didn't complain once. Instead, she cleaned and cooked, made sure I was ok. Held our sweet little baby and loved her unconditionally. She was concerned about me and Harlow, not herself.
This picture is in Harlow's room, I don't think I'll ever take it down. You can clearly see the love and adoration on my mom's face. So sweet. I clearly remembering taking this picture. It was such a tender moment and I am so grateful I was able to capture it.



Every night, before I go to sleep I think about her. About the amazing woman she was. Did I do everything right today? How would she have handled things? I am being the type of mother that she was to me? That's a lot of pressure, she was the best mom in my eyes. I can only hope to be a small percentage of the wife, mother and friend that she was. What an amazing legacy she left.

This last year I have learned to live life to it's fullest. To really be in the moment. When Harlow comes up to me, I need to get down to her level, look her in the eyes and listen. (Even if she is just babbling or telling me that she has her shoes on.) I need to be enthusiastic about even the smallest things. My happiness is reflected onto those around me. I need to encourage my husband and constantly let him know of my love and appreciation. I need to be a better friend. My sweet Sue was the best example to me and I can only hope to be anything like her.

I know I'll have tough days. Maybe even tough weeks. But I always tell myself, someone else has it worse. I am so blessed with wonderful family and friends. I have the gospel in my life. I have everything I can ever need. I am blessed. That was my mom's attitude and now it is mine.

Bijou Market

Attention all Utah friends!!!

Clemmie Sue has been chosen to be a vendor for Bijou Market in Provo, UT! It's our second time participating and let me tell you...it is well worth your time. They have everything from adorable pillows to creative kids toys. Not to mention AMAZING headbands:) Make sure to stop by, you won't regret it. Check out Bijou's website for an official list of vendors and more information: bijoumarket.com

lately...

Ever since Harlow was about 7 months old, she has been the best sleeper. She loves taking naps and we never have a problem putting her down at night. Notice that I said "7 months old"...before then, she was waking up every 2 hours at night and I had to "bounce" her to sleep for naps...it was miserable. Anyways, ever once in awhile she decides to be a stinker and won't take a nap when I put her in her bed. I know she's exhausted and needs a nap, she just won't take one. I blame it on teething. One Sunday...the day we would appreciate her taking a nap them most!! :)...she didn't nap but was so cranky. So around 4pm we took her for a walk in her wagon. As Eric and I were talking we kept looking back at her and it just looked like she was looking down at the doll she was holding. She CANNOT fall asleep anywhere besides her crib and occasionally a car ride so we were so surprised when we found out that she was sleeping! She is so out of it, it's hilarious!

18 months!!!

Today my sweet baby turns a year and a half! I seriously cannot believe how fast time is flying. It makes me so sad when I come to the realization that Harlow isn't a baby anymore, she's a kid! I LOVE the adorable little girl that she is becoming. She has the BEST sense of humor and KNOWS that she's funny. She is always trying so hard not to smile when she does something silly, I can't stop cracking up! She is constantly happy and just walks around the house talking and laughing. She is the best at giving hugs and kisses. I just love when she'll grab my cheeks and give me a huge kiss out of nowhere. Whenever Eric or I walk into the room she stops what she's doing and makes sure to wave and say "hi!!!". She is such a doll and we can't imagine our lives without her. I know I've said this before, but Eric and I are constantly saying how cute she is, we just can't get enough of her. Well, only 6 more months until she's 2! I guess I need to start planning her birthday party!!! :)